We're facebook friends in real life
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
