listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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