Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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