Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
