I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
