I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Me too!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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