Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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