I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
