So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He kissed a someone with a penis
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
