go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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