It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
