I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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