I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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