This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
