I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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