guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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