he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
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