he thought i was a dude.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
