her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
