real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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