bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
