Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
