You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
