so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
