whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
