am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
