Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
