the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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