I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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