dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
