You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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