so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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