sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
