so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
