and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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