I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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