They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You smell like stripper and shame
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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