Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
