Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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