I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
