just come out here and I will go home with you...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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