Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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