yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
