I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
