you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
