:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
