I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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