Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
