You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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