yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
