The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
