I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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