Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
