these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
