WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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