She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How does it feel to date your dad?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
