Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
