I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
