So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
